Today marks one week until I'll be hopping on a plane and venturing back to my home away from home for the third time, for a stay of three and a half months. I am ecstatic at the opportunity to be the medical coordinator and to work along side my fellow coordinators to make this the best volunteer summer yet. But, to say that I am a nervous wreck would be the understatement of the century...I have been a brewing melting pot of contradicting emotions! I can't wait to get there, yet I am dreading leaving; I am so excited, yet scared and worried; I am so happy to spend my summer in a place that I love with people I love; yet I am sad to be leaving home and my family and friends. What I do know, however, is once I get there I won't ever want to leave...
I cannot wait to hold those kiddos in my arms again...to play soccer in our bare feet, jump rope until my feet are bruised, get schooled in basketball, and ganged up on in water fights. I cannot wait to see my friends in the colonies, meet new faces, and build new relationships. I cannot wait for the volunteers and to witness their lives change.
When my friends and family found out I was going back to India this summer the common response I got was a well-meaning, "Again??". As the day of departure has crept closer and closer I have found myself asking the same thing..."Really Kim, you are going again?". Yesterday I took on the daunting task of cleaning out and organizing my closet and my drawers. As I stood there in the middle of my room surrounded by heaps of clothing and an absurd amount of shoes, it hit me how easy it is to lose sight of what truly matters most in life. I thought about the kids and their one pair of shoes, one school uniform, and one set of play clothes and all the pure joy that emanates from within them. I thought about the person I am now and began to evaluate where my priorities had been, my relationship with my Father in Heaven and my Savior, and my relationships with my family & those I care about. I thought about the person I want to become and as I did so I realized that if any one needs India & its humbling ways...its me. Up to that point I had only been thinking about what I was sacrificing to go, what events I was missing out on, relationships I was potentially hurting, and how much I was going to miss home and my family. I have been so ungrateful and selfish in my thinking! So as I stood in my room yesterday and brought my "woe-is-me-pity-party" to a close, I realized what a tender mercy it is that I get to go back to India again. I am grateful for the opportunity for a new beginning; to simplify my life, to be reminded again of what matters most, to learn from the children & people in the colonies, and to forget myself in the service of others. Ever since yesterday afternoon...I can't help but feel humbled, grateful, and beyond thrilled to go back...again.
Next post will be from India. Until then...let the countdown begin!
I cannot wait to hold those kiddos in my arms again...to play soccer in our bare feet, jump rope until my feet are bruised, get schooled in basketball, and ganged up on in water fights. I cannot wait to see my friends in the colonies, meet new faces, and build new relationships. I cannot wait for the volunteers and to witness their lives change.
When my friends and family found out I was going back to India this summer the common response I got was a well-meaning, "Again??". As the day of departure has crept closer and closer I have found myself asking the same thing..."Really Kim, you are going again?". Yesterday I took on the daunting task of cleaning out and organizing my closet and my drawers. As I stood there in the middle of my room surrounded by heaps of clothing and an absurd amount of shoes, it hit me how easy it is to lose sight of what truly matters most in life. I thought about the kids and their one pair of shoes, one school uniform, and one set of play clothes and all the pure joy that emanates from within them. I thought about the person I am now and began to evaluate where my priorities had been, my relationship with my Father in Heaven and my Savior, and my relationships with my family & those I care about. I thought about the person I want to become and as I did so I realized that if any one needs India & its humbling ways...its me. Up to that point I had only been thinking about what I was sacrificing to go, what events I was missing out on, relationships I was potentially hurting, and how much I was going to miss home and my family. I have been so ungrateful and selfish in my thinking! So as I stood in my room yesterday and brought my "woe-is-me-pity-party" to a close, I realized what a tender mercy it is that I get to go back to India again. I am grateful for the opportunity for a new beginning; to simplify my life, to be reminded again of what matters most, to learn from the children & people in the colonies, and to forget myself in the service of others. Ever since yesterday afternoon...I can't help but feel humbled, grateful, and beyond thrilled to go back...again.
Next post will be from India. Until then...let the countdown begin!
I am already thrilled to be reading about India again. I hope you have a great summer! Love you. Tara
ReplyDeletei'm so glad you told me about your blog, and so sad i didn't know about it til now. i will be right there with you, reading about you adventure. kim i love you more than words can explain, you are one of those people who have majorly impacted my life for the better. have a great time in india! be safe! I love you!
ReplyDeleteLove Cara
p.s. my blog is jordanandcara.blogspot.com